You're Alive!
by sctwilightvampwolfgal
Summary: She's grateful that the battle was won, that he's alive, even as the anxiety that flooded her system only begins to fade.


Love is an anticipatory thing; it digs claws in, to stay for hours and hours, hours upon hours. It is stubbornly steady, even as she holds him against her, listening to a calm heartbeat compared to her erratic one, knowing that today was one of those, put a lump in your throat, almost lose him kind of days.

Cat Noir had witnessed the risks and dove in for her sake, his own life, unacknowledged, as Ladybug felt that pinprick of fear grow into full body fear, and suddenly every nerve ending was on fire, quickly turning to ash, and she needed, needed, to move, needed to react before she couldn't, needed to call it a Lucky Charm, needed to finish the battle with a sense of urgency never to really be abandoned, and absolutely needed the benefits of a Miraculous Cure. Her heart had burnt inside her chest, ached and pounded, littered her with acute nerve pain.

Ladybug had did all that she could in quick doses, and now, she felt that fear that pounded in her heart, unresolved, as she held onto the man that she knew, in the way that a body was absolutely wired to know, that she loved with her whole life. It was a choice, that was more than a choice. She chose to let her heart be open, she chose to listen, and that choice went beyond emotion. It sputtered in every cell in her body, and right now, that choice had nearly seemed ripped right out of her gloved hands, ripped in the way that would mean that her world would lose the beauty found in her companionate partnership with Cat Noir.

Ladybug listens, distantly hears her heartbeat start to slow to join his in the much calmer pace and dance that it had raced against for what seemed an eternity of pain. She pressed her hands tighter against his back, felt him close against her, and tried to think cheery thoughts. If only, she could only focus on his warmth against her, his even breathing, his steady heartbeat, something other than the terrifying fear of nearly losing him.

She holds him closer, tightly clinging to the man that could have been so very easily erased from her life, ripped like a bandaid set to be discarded. She holds him, because there is nothing more real that she can do, nothing that holds him against her heart and lets her know that he is alive, that they saved the day, that Hawkmoth didn't win, and that they'd be able to go on and save many more days.

The superheroine lets her fingers massage little reminders of hope against his back, lets them trace what she can barely trace to shape, what she can barely cling to as anxiety curls and curls around her fingertips, as stress tightens her heart. Calmness feels like a dream, one that she is trying to cling to, as her body slowly, slowly shuts down the pains of stress. He is alive! He is in her arms! He is safe and free! Timers are miniscule things that neither can focus on.

She dimly wonders if he can feel that kind of joy that alights in his veins so often, if his love for her sparks within him, even as she forces herself away from that focus. Relief slowly freeing her mind to wandering as she clings to her partner, almost wishing that Viperion was here, to slow back time and to force away the memories, though memory loss is a reality that she has grown to hate.

The girl underneath the mask just listens, listens to a steady heartbeat, feels the warmth of her partner's breath against her shoulder and cheek, and relaxes. A forced relaxation is still a relaxation that she can cling to. Cat Noir is alive, and the worry is free to slowly abate from her system, to disregard her mind and flutter away, purified as an Akuma. Ladybug's heart stutters, as she holds Cat Noir, as rhythm slowly returns it to calm, as her mind flushes away worry that still peeks in from the edges.

She can think, and she can breathe; Ladybug's only feeling is gratitude, or rather, gratitude and love. They seem to go together perfectly, and she pauses and considers just how grateful she is for her partner, how love-filled gratitude is.

Cat Noir is safe, the battle is over, and Ladybug feels gratitude jut out its wings, and she holds him against her, breath stealing breath, hearts calmly holding hands. For once, he seems silent. He lets her take in his livelihood, lets her slowly come to the realization that despite her anxiety, there is much to be grateful for. Ladybug relishes that companionship, that friendship, that holds her up.

Ladybug loves Cat Noir, and she loves that he's alive. She hates the risks he takes, but understands them. For now, the battle is over, the war is a drudging footprint that they'll have to win later, and Cat Noir is in her arms, safe and warm and very much alive. Ladybug is relieved. She is filled with the pleasure of gratitude, something that needs faded anxiety to really open it up into existence.

Cat Noir's arms are steady around her, and she feels their warmth through his gloves. He holds her up as finally anxiety fully trickles away, before beeps will eventually force them to let go and disappear to respective homes, grateful to have survived.


End file.
